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Adoption Resources |
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Why Not Adoption?
There may be many reasons why someone would not consider adoption. After all, adoption is not the right answer for everyone. Below are some reasons why you might not consider adoption as the solution to your unplanned pregnancy. Under each reason is some additional information to help you make a fully informed decision. Remember- you have choices. And although this may be a difficult time for you, you will find a solution that is right for you and your baby. You are not alone. We are here to help and to listen.
I could never give my baby away.
- Giving away a child would be very difficult. Why do you believe adoption means you are giving your child away?
- Adoption can be a courageous and unselfish decision because you are putting the child above yourself.
- With adoption, you are making a plan for the child's future, not abandoning or giving away the child.
I can be a single parent.
- Were you raised in a single parent household? What are the pros and cons?
- How would single parenting affect your future goals?
- How can single parenting affect the child?
What if my baby ends up in a bad home, like the ones I see on TV?
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Did you know that many famous and successful people are adopted? Faith Hill, Reese Witherspoon and Jamie Foxx are.
- Adoptive parents are closely evaluated and educated during the home study process and even 6 months after the child is placed in the new home.
- Did you know that you can choose the family who will parent your child? This will allow you to help see for yourself what the child's home will be like.
- You can receive letters and photos of your baby after the adoption.
My family and friends don't want me to make an adoption plan.
- What are the concerns of your family and friends?
- Do you agree with their concerns?
- Will your family and friends help you care for the child for the next 18 years? Why or why not?
I am hoping to have a relationship with the father of the baby.
- What is the status of the relationship?
- Has he been helpful to you during your pregnancy?
- Is he honest and kind to you now? Has he been in the past?
- How does he treat the other people in his life?
- Does he have other children? Does he have a relationship with those children?
I want someone to love me and I want someone to love.
- Love is important, however, what else do you need to be a single parent?
- Can you share how you plan to meet the emotional, physical and social needs of this child?
- Let's start with your need for love. What can you do to meet that need?
- Can a child satisfy that need?
My child will hate me.
- Why do you think your child would hate you?
- What could you do to make sure your child would know how much you care about them and love them?
- What would your reasons be for choosing adoption? Do you feel these things show that you hate your child? What if your child could know the reasons you chose adoption?
If I gave my baby away, it would hurt too much and I would always regret it.
- Would you like to talk to someone who made an adoption plan for their child?
- Do you think that adoption is the only option that would hurt you? What are the consequences associated with all three of your options?
- Just because something hurts does not actually mean it is not the right thing to do. Can you think of an experience in your life when this was true? How did you feel in the long run?
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